If you’re reading this, you probably know me as an author. Fully supporting myself with the money I make from my writing has been a dream of mine for years. However, I’m not quite there yet. Almost, but not quite.

So what have I been doing to support myself? For years, I’ve worked at a residential school for teenagers with a variety of special needs. It’s been incredibly rewarding and, at times, equally challenging.

I’m going to tell you a little bit about my experience working at a residential school for over a decade. I could easily write a book about it and plan to, eventually. But, for now, I’m just going to tell you a little bit about my experience working with teen boys.

How it all started

Back in late 2004, at the age of 24, I was less than a year away from earning my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I wanted to get some work experience before applying to grad school, so I looked for a job in a related field. Before long, I found a part-time position that seemed perfect. I applied, interviewed, and got it.

The job involved working with teenagers with a variety of special needs at a residential school. The students, as they’re called, lived on campus in dorms. During the day, they transitioned to classrooms, also on campus. Then, after school, the students went out on various activities and spent their evenings hanging out in the residences.

The “special needs” that the students had ranged from mild conduct disorders to severe autism and everything in between. We had students with severe anxiety and mood disorders, substance abuse problems, Asperger’s Syndrome and autistic spectrum disorders, personality disorders, and a variety of other issues.

It didn’t take long for me to realize what an amazing learning opportunity it would be. Working there gave me a chance to witness first-hand all the mental illnesses I’d been learning about in college.

After graduating in the spring of 2005, I switched from part-time to full-time. My plan was to work there until I finished grad school, then move on. However, life had different plans for me.

I never did finish grad school. For reasons that are beyond this post, I left grad school and just continued working there full time. Now, fourteen-years later, I’m still there.A few years ago, I took a pay cut and switched to an overnight position so I’d have time to start working on my new career – my dream career – as a writer.

I’ve held several different positions at the residential school over the years. I’ve also worked on all three shifts: first, second, and third (aka overnights/graveyard shift). But one thing has remained constant: I’ve worked primarily with male students.

Working with teenage boys

I have some experience working with teenage girls. But the vast majority of my experience is with boys. Why teenage boys? Because, believe it or not, I was one myself not too terribly long ago.

My teens – to be blunt – fucking sucked. Most people have a hard time navigating their way through this tumultuous time in life, but my teens were especially bad. However, I somehow made it through them in one piece.

Working with teenage boys has given me the chance to help them through what was such a difficult time in my own life. I went through a lot in a short period of time and have been able to use my experiences to help the young men I work with.

Some of the things I help the boys learn how to do are called ADLs: Activities of Daily Living. These are the day-to-day things that most of us learn how to do from our parents. Cooking, cleaning, hygiene, and doing laundry are all examples of ADLs. For a variety of reasons, many of the boys never learned how to take care of their own basic needs.

I also teach the boys valuable social skills. Most of them never had a strong male role model to teach them how to advocate for themselves, how to talk to women, and other crucial social skills. I’ve helped to build the confidence and self-esteem of countless young men.

This is where I’ve been able to make the biggest difference. I can’t tell you how many young men have asked me: “How do I get girls to like me?” “Why don’t girls pay attention to me?” “Why do girls only like jerks?” “How should I act to get [insert crush’s name here] to like me?”

These questions don’t just come from students with severe disabilities. Even some of the most “normal” and well-adjusted students I’ve worked with have asked these and other similar questions. And I can certainly relate: I didn’t have even a shred of confidence when it came to girls when I was their age. Now, things couldn’t be more different.

If anything, I’m overconfident. I’ve overcome so many obstacles in my life and grown so much as a person that it’s hard not to be. The students who know me well find my story inspiring and are able to learn from my experience and all the mistakes I’ve made over the years. Not just when it comes to talking to girls, but with plenty of other aspects of life as well.

Why I like working with teens

There are a lot of reasons why I like working with teenagers. One of them, I’ve already mentioned: It gives me a chance to help them get through a time in their life that was so difficult for myself.

Another reason that I like working with teens is that, in many ways, it keeps me young. Music’s always been a huge part of my life and the teens I work with keep me up-to-date with what’s popular today. They keep me hip to new music, movies, books, and other forms of entertainment their generation is into.

And lastly, I like working with teen boys because it helps me to grow as a person. The boys I work with can be brutally honest sometimes and they keep me in check as much as I keep them in check. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it’s often necessary for personal growth.

Conclusion

Like I said, I could write an entire book about my experiences working with teens and plan to, someday. But that’s just a brief overview of what I’ve been doing for work for the past decade or so.

I may write a few blog posts about some of the stuff I’ve taught the young men I’ve worked with. A lot of my readers are men in their late teens and early twenties. I’m sure some of them could benefit from what I know about becoming a man, attracting women, and other aspects of growing up in today’s world.

There’s never been a more-confusing time to grow up as a guy. Most of the young men I’ve worked with in recent years have no idea how to communicate with women or how to go after what they want in life. In a society that does its best to make men feel like crap for being men, it’s becoming more and more important to help young men find themselves.

So, that’s how I’ve supported myself for the past decade or so. Even though I’m making more from my writing than from my overnight job now, I’ll probably keep working there for another couple years. It’s rewarding and challenging, which I like. But, eventually, I’d like to leave there and live off my writing income alone.